Comment
ROD LIDDLE
WE were never all in this pandemic “together”.
Some have suffered a lot more than others. The elderly and the poor, for example. And more than anything, the young. Our children.
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How did you feel when you read yesterday that pupils at an infant school in Walsall, in the West Midlands, were forced to eat mashed potato served in a Yorkshire pudding with their hands? No cutlery allowed because of Covid, according to the school’s commissars.
How horrible for those kids. How undignified and demeaning. This is the Edgar Stammers Academy, which Ofsted says is “in need of improvement”.
No kidding? But that’s not the half of it.
Teaching unions are now insisting that the schools break up for Christmas earlier than usual. This is so teachers can avoid “stress”. What stress, exactly? The stress of working for a living?
Is there any profession in the country which has had an easier, stress-free nine months than the teaching profession?
During this horrible crisis we have all come to respect, more than ever, our frontline workers in the National Health Service. And the frontline workers in other sectors — our bus and train staff, the taxi drivers.
But has any body of people lowered itself more in the eyes of the public than our teachers, spurred on by their unions? I can’t think of one offhand.
What the teaching unions have made abundantly clear is that teaching children is at the very bottom of their to-do list.
During the first lockdown, from March to June, two thirds of our schoolkids received no virtual lessons.
Our country has let its children down. They have come bottom of our list for too long.
Rod Liddle
When lockdown was lifted on July 4, the Government — and parents up and down the country — had a vague hope that perhaps the kids might get some extra tuition over the summer. The unions made it clear — not a hope.
They even said re-opening the schools in September would be a bad idea. Left to them I suspect the schools would not be open at all. Meanwhile, they have warned that cancelling exams “may become inevitable”. So there would be none for the coming year.
That makes life a hell of a lot easier for them, doesn’t it? They say this is for the benefit of the kids, but once again it’s to suit themselves.
They will be charged instead with assessing the abilities of their students. They did that before, in the summer, if you remember — and their assessments bore no resemblance to reality.
We are left with a batch of kids with wholly unrealistic expectations. Based upon wildly inflated grades.
All done at a time, incidentally, when German kids were sitting exams. Since September, pupils have been sent home for a week or more if one of them develops so much as a sniffle.
This has a knock-on effect, of course. It means the mums and dads can’t go out to work. The economy takes a hit just when we are all desperate for recovery.
Our children have had a truly horrible nine months. Separated from their friends for ages. Receiving very little in the way of a normal education. Dragooned into social distancing at school. And at the end of it forced to eat food with their hands because the teachers are scared of cutlery.
Our country has let its children down. They have come bottom of our list for too long. Let 2021 be the year we put them first. All agreed? Good. Now, somebody tell the teachers.
We need to kick it out
ON Tuesday night Millwall were at home to QPR. Instead of taking a knee, the Millwall players linked arms and held aloft a Kick Out Racism banner.
They were warmly applauded by the Millwall fans. The booing that greeted the players taking a knee on Saturday was nothing to do with racism.
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It was because – rightly, in my opinion – they can’t stand the extremist organisation Black Lives Matter. But that didn’t stop them being labelled racist.
English football’s Kick It Out campaign brings everyone together in the fight against racism. BLM does not.
Later on, when QPR scored, their players made black power salutes and took a knee in front of the Millwall supporters. Again – divisive and unpleasant and designed to provoke. There was no reaction.
The irony is that QPR were one of the clubs who made a decision NOT to take a knee before games. There is so much hypocrisy on this issue.
So how about this for a suggestion? All clubs simply get behind the Kick It Out campaign – nothing else.
In for a poo-nd
HAVE you ever done a poo on the floor in Poundland?
Customers do, according to some staff members.
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Surprised they don’t put a price tag on it. Maybe the poor staff should provide a large cat litter tray at the end of each aisle for customers who feel the urge come upon them.
There’s some odd people around, no?
Gobby Kay had it Cummings
SKY News’s gob on a stick, Kay Burley, has been suspended.
She held a party to celebrate her 60th birthday. In a breach of social-distancing rules.
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As I mentioned last week, slebs think they can get away with anything. They think they are different to the rest of us.
Remember how Burley tore a strip off the Prime Minister’s adviser Dominic Cummings when he visited Barnard Castle?
The boot’s on the other foot now, Burley. Oh, and happy birthday.
Krankie Sturge is roast
THE Scottish First Minister, Nicola “Krankie” Sturgeon, is in big trouble. And it serves her right.
Only a couple of days ago she was spitefully rude about the visit to Scotland of Prince William and Kate. They were there to pay tribute to health workers. But surly Sturgeon made it clear they weren’t welcome.
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Now she’s accused of having deliberately misled the Scottish parliament. And the person who is accused of revealing that she misled her colleagues? Her husband!
Some are saying it is a “fatal blow” to her career. Ooh, I hope so.
Never mind the turkey, all I want this year is a roast Sturgeon served up on a plate.
Winter Wonderland rip-offs
LUCKY, lucky Manchester kiddies. The Drive Thru Christmas North Pole Experience is open. £25. You park the car, walk past two reindeer.
Then you enter a blue plastic tunnel at the end of which an unconvincing Santa Claus with a black beard doesn’t give you a present. On the ground there’s soap suds masquerading as snow.
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For an extra £95 – £95!!!!! – your child will be allowed to feed the bloody reindeer.
There are no rip-offs quite like these Winter Wonderland rip-offs. And yet people turn up year after year.
Transforms into Princess Anne
APPARENTLY, one third of people change their voices when using the phone. Both me and the missus fit into that category.
Most of the time she sounds like a normal human being crossed with a member of the Wurzels (well, she is from Gloucester).
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Put her on the phone and she is miraculously transformed into Princess Anne.
I’m worse, though. I mimic the caller’s accent. I don’t mean to, I just can’t help it. If it’s a cockney I’m all: “Gawd luv a duck, innit, up the apples and pears me ol’ China.” If it’s a Geordie you can bet I’ll say “howay” several times and refer to the caller as “marra” (mate).
I think this is why a disproportionate number of calls end with the other person saying: “Are you taking the p***, sunshine?” and hanging up.
How embarrassing
OH, you woke idiots. Birmingham City Council has a plan to name the roads on a new housing estate as Humanity Close and Diversity Grove and so on.
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How embarrassing would it be to live there?
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It reminds me of the time a council in the north west of England got its own back on some developers. The developers had ignored various planning conditions.
So what names did the council come up with for the roads on the estate? Hitler Crescent, Goebbels Drive and so on.
Mussolini 'Covid Marshals'
SO this is what Christmas is going to be like.
Yellow-jacketed busy-bodies calling themselves “Covid Marshals”.
Busting into your local to make sure you’re eating enough chips with your pint.
This is what happened at the No 29 Bar and Restaurant in Burnham Market in Norfolk.
Jobsworths march in with their cameras as people are trying to enjoy their meals. Ended in the owner calling the Old Bill.
Wouldn’t surprise me if the marshals started telling you to have some salad with your meal as well.
Give someone a yellow fluorescent jacket and they suddenly become transformed into Mussolini.
UK coronavirus deaths rise by 533 while 16,578 more infections recorded as cases continue to plateau after lockdown
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